SEEKING RELIEF FROM THE PAINFUL STRUGGLE
Do you obsess about your appearance and weight more than you want?
Do you eat to try to quell anxiety, but overeating actually makes you feel more anxious, overly full, and ashamed?
Maybe you are overweight and don’t feel good in your skin. Or you can’t do all the activities you want. You might have pre-diabetes or diabetes or be concerned about your risk of blood sugar issues.
Do you find that no matter how “good” you are on a diet. You can’t keep to it?
The dieting-overeating roller coaster is exhausting. It’s not a way of life that anyone intends or longs for.
I understand that the cycle is so hard on self-esteem and chips away at having a sense of power in your life. It can make us feel out of control and hopeless.
Our minds can play tricks on us – leaving us disappointed that we over-ate despite our intentions.
- “I’ll just treat myself to _________ because I deserve it.” or
- “I’ll just go for it and eat all I want now and start my diet tomorrow.”
Maybe you are someone who needs to lose some weight for the first time. Or perhaps you have tried many times and want help getting it off and actually keeping it off.
Being overweight is normal. According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 2016 71% of American adults were overweight or obese. It is a shocking statistic.
HOW DIETING CAN MAKE US SUFFER AND BE OVERWEIGHT
Part of how America became so overweight is the idea that if we just diet enough, then we will be thin.
We evolved to endure times of feast and famine. When there wasn’t enough to eat, our metabolisms would slow so that we would burn fat slower so we could survive. When we restrict calories on a diet, our brain thinks we are in a survival mode in a time of famine, and then often our metabolism slows.
So many overweight chronic dieters that I have worked with eat no or very little breakfast. This well-meaning attempt to start the day out “being good” sends the warning signal to the brain to slow metabolism and conserve fat. And starting the day without enough nourishment can make us feel ripped off. By the time the evening comes around, our psyches have had enough of deprival. Next thing we know – we’re deep into a Ben and Jerry’s or a carb binge yet again
And somehow – even though it is the norm in America to be overweight – there is enormous shame around it. Shame that can keep people from wanting to talk about it. Wanting to ask for help.
The shame is so powerful that many doctors say they are afraid to bring up the topic with their patients. Yikes.
THE GREAT NEWS IS THAT THE CYCLE CAN BE BROKEN
Addictive behavior can have a very healthy impulse at its’ root. It starts with the desire for comfort and pleasure. The only problem is that it ends up bringing discomfort and less pleasure and connection.
So let’s go back to that healthy impulse. I am available to help you craft a life where you feel…
- Your needs are getting tended to
- You are cared about in your world
- You see you have the power to make choices
- You are feeling less isolated and more connected in life
So how do you stop overeating?
There is a way to exit the yo-yo dieting rollercoaster.
Twenty years ago, after almost 15 years of the painful dieting and bingeing roller coaster, I decided to stop struggling to lose weight. Rather than repeatedly trying to force my body to submit to my mind’s certain and desperate plan of what restrictive diet I needed to follow, I called off the fight and did the opposite. I started listening to my body’s signals of hunger and satiety and follow them rather than demanding my body follow me.
I stopped weighing myself – I decided to trust my body’s set point. It was way scary.
I saw that dieting made me feel deprived and controlled. These feelings were creating dry kindling that would fuel the next overeating rebellion. I decided to stop depriving myself, and I gave myself permission to eat yummy treats. To eat them slowly and enjoy them, stopping when I felt I might be sated.
Those treats gave my psyche evidence that I now had permission to be me, to follow my wants, and say no when I had eaten enough. Ironically, I have found from working with myself and clients that giving yourself the permission to truly enjoy an ice cream cone or a few fabulous buttery chocolate chip cookie like a kid does can actually be a key to being able to lose weight.
I became one of those skinny people who can eat what they want and stop when they’ve had enough. I exercise regularly not to burn calories, but because it makes me feel better physically and helps my mood.
I relearned how to eat like a healthy kid.
Now some people should have the permission to eat normal sweet treats that are made with sugar. A few people (like me with my hormone and blood sugar issues) can’t touch the stuff. But don’t worry, I have found how to buy and make enough goodies to where I truly don’t feel ripped off.
With the support of great therapy and coaching, I broke free from the roller coaster.
I would be honored to help you do the same.
I work with two kinds of clients
- The person who has not dieted much and realizes they need to make a change and lose extra weight. Maybe he or she wants to feel more attractive, or avoid diabetes and other health problems, or just feel better.
- The person who feels trapped on the diet/regain roller coaster and wants to lose weight and break free from the frustration, exhaustion, and pain of yo-yo dieting. Boulder might be the thinnest town in America – but there are so many people in this area who suffer with the struggle with food.
I have some questions about your approach that you haven’t addressed here.
I would love to speak with you. I will give you honest answers. I have had to be discerning when selecting my own coaches and counselors over the years. I know how important it is to feel clear that this is a good fit.
I have resistance to contacting you. I have so much shame about being overweight.
I think I understand. Even thought there are millions of Americans dealing with exactly the same human struggle, our culture has a powerful stigma around having extra weight or “failing” at dieting. It is very important to me that everyone who comes to see me feels validated, respected, and believed in. Bring that shame and any other resistance you have along to the appointment. I am good at helping people get free of its’ dictatorial power.
If part of you is scared to reach out for help because it could take your pleasure from food away, don’t worry. My job is just to help you get free of suffering, actually be able to have pleasure from food and treats, and feel good in your skin. I am all about helping people have more pleasure and less suffering.
I am available to speak with you either on the phone or at my office for a free half-hour consultation. You can check me out to feel if this is a good fit for you. If not, I would be happy to refer you to other counselors I respect if you like.
If what I have written makes you feel this might be a good direction, I hope you take the step of reaching out to me today.
Warm wishes to you,